Magazine

19 Times The Ellevest Community Said “F U” With Money

By Ellevest Team

F*ck-You Funds are like fingerprints: Each one is unique to its owner. Sure, they can all be defined as “a savings pot you build up specifically so you can walk away from the things that hurt you or hold you back.” They all have money in them.

A collage of quotes from Ellevest community members who submitted FYF stories, like “I finally left my narcissist, abusive, soul-crushing ex!”

But it takes an awful lot of moxie to get up the courage to say “f*ck you” — to a bad job, a bad partner, a bad life — and everyone gets to that point on a different path. We respect that. A lot. That’s why we wanted to hear about our community’s F*ck-You Funds (or FYFs, as they’re sometimes known). What you’ve actually used that money for, in practice, rather than just in theory. We asked you for your unique stories, and you sure did deliver. 

Let these (anonymized) examples be inspiration for your next FYF — what financial independence can do for you. [TW: One story in the first section below includes a mention of sexual assault.]

Taking back your power? Nothing compares

“Mine let me walk out of a 12-year negative cycle [relationship] — without accepting any offer of ‘support’ from him.”

“I finally left my narcissist, abusive, soul-crushing ex!”

“Got laid off in October, but thanks to mine, I didn’t have to worry about bills over the holidays.”

“Before starting my new job, I decompressed from the last year with my toxic boss by treating myself to a solo-cation at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. It was the reward I deserved for all I had navigated and how I had negotiated myself to a better place!”

“Used my FYF during my 2019 European Betrayal Tour. A friend of 20 years became handsy while I was sleeping(!!) and stranded me in Germany after the rejection. Luckily, I had that FYF to walk away — literally down the street with my luggage, to the Frankfurt train station. I took a tearful train ride to Paris, where I grounded myself and thanked the universe for allowing me to build that freedom stash. I returned to the States with one less friend, but a whole lot of clarity and gratitude.” (Ed. Note: So glad you’re safe!)

“I left a toxic relationship [with someone] who said I couldn’t support myself — joke’s on him!” (Ed. Note: Yessss, never underestimate the power of “I’ll show you.”)

Helping others say F U? Next level

“I helped my adult child relocate despite not being able to get out of a lease.”

“I don’t have one for myself, but I use my donations to help women who don’t have their own.” (Ed. Note: Women like … you? 😘 We love it, but it’s also OK to put on your own oxygen mask first!)

Discovering the life you want: The best revenge

“I used the grant the government gave me for teacher training to support me — when I quit three years later!” (Ed. Note: Now that’s the kind of lesson money can’t buy!)

“I finally committed to a long-anticipated career pivot!”

“My last one was to get my own 1-bedroom. Without a roommate. 🙌”

“I moved to a new city without a job lined up, and it ended up taking almost six months to land a new job. 🙃” (Ed. Note: Yeah, but you did it! You made the move and survived — because of you!)

Quitting your job: The FYF classic

“I’m using mine right now! Just left my job to explore new opportunities that would allow me to grow more.”

“My FYF allowed me to quit a sexist team when I came back from maternity leave! And I found my dream company and team the next month. Financial freedom to ditch a toxic situation is priceless — and so was the silence after turning in my resignation to my boss.” 🙊

“I moved from DC to Melbourne and kept my awesome law job — my FYF let me boldly negotiate.” 

“I’m going to use mine to fund a potential sabbatical if my employer doesn’t allow me to work remotely from another state.” (Ed. Note: Hmm, maybe you and Melbourne, Esq. above should compare notes? 🤔)

“I switched jobs — while pregnant. I knew I wouldn’t get full parental leave benefits in the first few months at a new company, but my FYF had me covered.”

“I used mine to walk away from a job that became toxic and unfulfilling! I was so frustrated and emotionally drained that I just wasn’t able to job search while working there. Having money saved up allowed me to quit without another job lined up and to take some time off to recover and decide what I wanted to do next. I ended up taking almost a year off! That reset gave me the chance to go into a new role, in a new industry, with a clear head and much less emotional baggage than I would have if I’d gone straight from that old job to a new one.”

“My F*ck-You Fund saved me in 2022! I was able to quit my job — I thought it was a dream job, but it became a nightmare so damn fast my head is still spinning. Now I freelance and I’m living on the road full-time. So the real dream did come true! 🖤”

Ready to start your own FYF? Want to start another one? Read our guide to setting and prioritizing your financial goals to figure out how it can fit into your existing plans. (And if you have a FYF story to share, tell us about it here!)


Disclosures

© 2023 Ellevest, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

All opinions and views expressed by Ellevest are current as of the date of this writing, are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute or imply an endorsement of any third party’s products or services.

Information was obtained from third-party sources, which we believe to be reliable but are not guaranteed for accuracy or completeness.

The information provided should not be relied upon as investment advice or recommendations, does not constitute a solicitation to buy or sell securities, and should not be considered specific legal, investment, or tax advice.

The information provided does not take into account the specific objectives, financial situation, or particular needs of any specific person.

Investing entails risk, including the possible loss of principal, and past performance is not predictive of future results.

Ellevest, Inc. is a SEC registered investment adviser. Membership fees and additional information can be found at www.ellevest.com.

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Ellevest Team

Ellevest helps women build and manage their wealth through goal-based investing, financial planning, and wealth management. Our mission is to get more money in the hands of women.